Hope for Those Who Fear
Concerning Loved Ones
Few things weigh heavier on a Christian’s heart than watching a loved one persist in sin, especially when that sin seems to define their identity.
If you have a family member or friend who seems to live in sinfulness but claims to be a believer, or perhaps once did but now seems to reject Him, you may feel burdened with fear for their soul.
Many well-meaning Christians try to measure a person’s faith by their actions. But Scripture never tells us to place our hope in outward performance. Rather, our hope is in God, who alone gives faith, preserves His people, and never loses even one of His own (John 10:28-29).
Faith Is a Gift
It’s easy to think that true faith always leads to immediate and visible obedience. Or, at the very least, a visible transformation. But faith is not something we prove by our works—it is a gift from God. The Apostle Paul writes:
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
If salvation is by grace through faith alone, then faith itself is not something we can measure by outward transformation alone. Some assume that if a person truly believes, they will inevitably leave sinful behavior behind. And while a move towards God (repentance) is real, it is not always immediate, nor will it ever be complete.
(As a side note, repentance in the scripture is understood as a return to or a turn towards God. Acts 20:21, Rom. 2:4)
What About "A New Creation in Christ"?
A common passage cited in conversations about change in the Christian life is 2 Corinthians 5:17:
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
Many take this to mean that a Christian will show drastic outward transformation, but the context of this passage is deeper than behavior. Statements will sometimes be made like, “No change, no salvation”; and while in some sense, this is true, it’s imparitve that we understand what the apostle means by this.
Paul is addressing how believers should see one another—not by their former identity but as new creations in Christ.
He is calling Christians to recognize that their brothers and sisters are not defined by their lives but by their union with Jesus. The newness he speaks of is primarily about who they are now in Christ, not simply the removal of who they were before.
Yes, the believer is new. But the battle with sin remains (Romans 7:19-25). New creation does not mean perfection—it means belonging to Christ, even in weakness.
James also speaks to this understanding when he challenges those who claim faith without works, saying:
“Shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.” (James 2:18)
Notice that James doesn't say that his readers are without faith; he is explaining to them that no one can see faith, only the manifestations of it. James isn’t accusing them of being unbelievers, he is exhorting them to let others see that they are.
This means that a believer may struggle, even deeply, with sin and that some may even seem at times to be unbelievers. Some may wrestle with pride their entire life, others with greed, and still others with desires that do not align with God's design.
Some struggles we can hide, others we can’t, but struggling with sin—even struggling for a long time—does not mean faith is absent.
Our Lifelong Battle with Sin
We can sometimes assume that if a person struggles with a particular sin, they must not be truly saved. But Scripture paints a different picture. Paul, a man who had seen the risen Christ and was caught up to the third heaven and was called to be an apostle (2 Cor. 12:2-4), still wrestled with the power of indwelling sin:
“For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.” (Romans 7:19)
Paul does not say, "I used to struggle with sin before I was saved." Nor is he saying, “The struggle with seen is easier now.” He speaks in the present tense, describing the ongoing war within him.
Every Christian—no matter how mature—will struggle against sin in some form for their entire life.
This means that the battle with sin and even the actions of sin do not necessarily prove a person to be an unbeliever. If that were the case, then the Apostle and every Christian who struggles their entire life with pride, lust, greed, or idolatry would have no hope of salvation either.
The presence of sin does not negate the presence of faith.
A Point of Conversion Is Not Our Hope
Often, we will be tempted to look for a moment of conversion to determine if someone is truly saved. This is especially true at a person’s death.
We struggle for hope and look for something to hold on to.
We want to be able to say, "I remember the day they prayed," or "I saw them when they walked the aisle," as if salvation is proven by a one-time event.
But Scripture does not emphasize a past decision as proof of salvation —it points to present belief.
Our assurance of a person's eternal destiny is not in when they believed, it is in that they believed.
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.” (John 6:47)
Notice that Jesus does not say, "He that once believed on me," but rather, "He that believes."
Assurance of a person’s salvation is not found in looking back to a moment in time, but in the presence of faith, even if it is weak, even if it wavers.
Peter, after boldly confessing Jesus as the Christ, denied Him three times (Luke 22:61-62). Did that mean Peter had lost his salvation? No—his faith was weak, but it was real.
His faith was mixed with doubt and sin, yet Jesus did not reject him.
This makes sense of Peter’s statements in 2 Peter 1:9, which describes believers who lack godliness and spiritual fruit.
He does not say they are simply unbelievers. Instead, he says:
“But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.”
Peter’s point is crucial: When Christians live in sin, it is not because they were never saved—it is because they have forgotten who they are in Christ. When you miss the understanding of who you are in Christ, you will find yourself seeking identity in any place you can find it.
This means that a believer struggling with sexual sin, addiction, or any other form of brokenness is not necessarily proving themselves to be lost. They may simply be blind to the truth of their identity in Jesus.
Faith may be weak. It may be obscured by sin. It may flicker like a dying candle. But faith remains, not because of the one who believes, but because of the One who holds His own.
A weak faith lays hold to a strong Christ - Thomas Watson
If your loved one has ever truly believed in Christ, their security does not rest in whether they seem faithful at this moment—it rests in the faithfulness of God.
The mark of a believer is not sinlessness, but belief—hard stop.
God Is Faithful
At the end of the day, our hope does not rest in our ability to see evidence of salvation in someone else’s life. It does not rest in our ability to change them. It rests in the God who saves.
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
If your loved one belongs to Christ, they are safe in Him—even if it does not always look that way. If they have ever believed in Jesus, even weakly, even imperfectly, then their salvation does not depend on their performance—it depends on God’s faithfulness.
So, pray for them. Encourage them. Speak the truth in love. But do not despair. Your hope is not in what you can see. Your hope is in the God who sees all. And He is good.